Creating Magic - On Being Present With Your Partner
Nancy talks about tango being a metaphor for life. In tango, it's important for both partners to learn to really listen to eachother. In tango and in life, listening carefully can add a sense of presentness to the connection between partners.
- Artist Name:
- Manuel Barrueco
- Song Title:
- Tango Etude #1
- Album Title:
- Solo Piazzolla
- Artist Website:
From the artist's website: Manuel Barrueco is internationally recognized as one of the most important guitarists of our time. His unique artistry has been continually described as that of a superb instrumentalist and a superior and elegant musician, possessing a seductive sound and uncommon lyrical gifts....In 2007 Manuel Barrueco received a Grammy nomination for the “Best Instrumental Soloist Performance” for his Solo Piazzolla, which was the first recording to be released on the exclusive Manuel Barrueco Collection on Tonar Music.
- So, a lot of times, what happens is, as I'm teaching combinations, I'll tell people things. I'll say, for example...
- I'll say, "Do this". And then, I'll take them in, you know, whatever it is. Cut, cut, tap.
- Step, cross. Flick. Step, cut. Catch. Throw, touch. Whatever, long, long... Goes for a while.
- D: And, at the end of that, I say, "Got it? Good. Do."
N: No, you don't.
D: Yeah, I know. I do better than that.
- D: But...
N: He doesn't do that.
- But, what happens, is when you see people dance, they look like this.
- N: Even though he doesn't do that, you do see this.
D: And I'm exaggerating.
- So, when we teach, just like in the videos, we show one little piece at a time.
- And we make sure people are comfortable doing it, before we move on.
- N: So, that was not just to himself.
D: OK, she's like: "say the right."
- But, even when we do that, if it's a long, involved combination, you see people doing it like this.
- I mean... So, the bottom line is when it pushes your limits, then you have to give all your attention to something.
- D: So, for example, you give all your attention to what you have to do to her.
N: The footwork. Right, to how you move...
D: To get her do what you want.
- And listen to the word choice: what you have to do to her.
- Right? So it stops being a participatory thing. It stops being communication.
- And it starts being, "Oh, I move my arms this way".
- Yes, that's right.
- And so, I want to say that half of this idea of being present with your partner is choosing smart things.
- It's hard to be present when you're doing the hardest thing you know.
- N: Yeah. If you're dancing socially, dance less than the hardest thing you know.
D: Dance way less than the hardest thing you know.
- And also, part of it... So, if you look at the touch chapter, a lot of it is in the spirit of the chapter on listening.
- And part of it is just being willing to look at someone. Right? So...
- D: To say, "Hi".
D: So, for example, if she were here,
- There's a big difference between my looking at the camera and my looking at her.
- N: There certainly is.
D: You see that difference?
- And so, I want you to say, that sometimes, it's OK to look... You don't always have to have your gaze averted
- As you feel so intensely passionately.
- Sometimes, you can... Feel it intensely passionately at your partner too.
- Or not. But I want you to realize there's a person there.