Connection - Creating Chemistry Through Distance

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One thing David did remember to think to say is that it looks a lot better if you have good posture and a "friendly" face. If you do the things in this chapter with bad posture and a smirk on your face, then it's extremely creepy rather than being extremely filled with chemistry.

The difference that posture can have in changing the message, when all other things are the same, is really rather remarkable. Maybe we'll film another video about it.

Artist Name:: QTango
Song Title:: 9 de Julio
Album Title:: It Takes Q To Tango
Artist Website:: http://www.qtango.com/

(From the website): Created in July, 2009 by Erskine Maytorena, a third generation tango musician and opera singer, QTANGO performs authentic Argentine tango arrangements as often as two to three times a week throughout the Southwest for tango dancers and listeners.

00:06: So, in this chapter, we're going to talk about creating chemistry through distance.
00:11: And, we're going to dispel two myths, or at least, make progress, dispelling them.
00:15: The first myth, is that...
00:19: You know, if you're closer, there's more chemistry. And it's not really that simple, that closeness equals chemistry.
00:23: And the second, is that chemistry is something that's either there, or it's not. And, while, you know, there's something there about that.
00:30: It, definitely, is also, to a larger extent than most would believe, something that can be learned.
00:36: So, to dispel the first myth that closeness equals chemistry,
00:42: D: You feel the mad passion? I hope not.
N: I don't think so.
00:47: So, it's not just about distance. But the first principle is that it's about the consciousness of the distance.
00:53: So, as that, as you're changing the distance, I'm aware of being here, of being here, of being here.
00:58: And that, as every micron of movement and distance changes, I'm aware of every bit of it.
01:05: So, the first point is that there's this awareness of distance.
01:09: The second point is that people tend to wimp out.
01:12: You say, "Have chemistry", and this is what students do. We talk to them, you know, this is what you have to do.
01:17: And they do something like this. They're great, they're great, they're great... "Oh my God, can you believe we're doing this?"
01:23: And then, right about the middle, then... And they giggle madly, because they can't take it. So, don't wimp out. Take it.
01:31: So, as we go - we'll go. And we'll keep going, and we'll keep going, and we'll keep going. And we'll keep going.
01:38: Right? At no point does it give. You can giggle when it's done. Yeah, wait three minutes, then start giggling.
01:45: Final point. Take your time.
01:49: D: So, the instinct is to say, "Alright, chemistry. Huah!"
N: Ha-ha!
01:53: And, what the ladies do is they go something like this, "Whaa". Which is not good.
01:59: So, take your time. So that it can build.
02:03: So, if I do this once to the camera. I want you to be aware of my movement, as I go from here...
02:17: And, I mean, that little bit of movement - that's a lot.
02:20: So, take advantage of the fact that moving from here... ...to here is something we're trained to really feel.
02:29: On that note, right now, stop. And do it. So, just pause the video camera. Do it.
02:37: Alright. So, you've done it. My first observation is that, almost surely, you did it too fast.
02:44: It's not... This is not slow. This is slow.
02:51: And then, I begin to shift. And then, my back heel, front heel hits. And then, I begin to shift. And more. Now I'm half way.
02:59: And then, I shift over more, but I'm not there. And it keeps coming.
03:02: And going, and going. And then, finally, I'm over. And I just finished taking one step.
03:07: Right? So, that's slow. It is not, bang - you're there.
03:11: But I want to make two interesting asides, that are tangentially related.
03:14: And the first is that I'm aware, when I'm dancing with a new partner, of the psychological distance.
03:21: And, as we dance... if she's someone, you know, we don't know each other, I'm not going to be, like, "Whaa, you, here".
03:28: She'll be, like, "Whaa, maybe not. These tango dancers are crazy."
03:32: So, instead, as I walk towards her, I'm aware of keeping the psychological distance constant even as the physical distance decreases.
03:40: What that means is that, if we're here and I'm looking straight at you...You're my partner now,
03:45: As I walk to embrace you, you'll see that my gaze will drift to the side.
03:51: And, by everting the eyes and the face, I make the psychological distance less.
03:56: Even as the physical distance comes in. And so, they, sort of, counteract each other.
04:00: The other idea is that it really is about the direction of your energy.
04:04: So, that, as I'm here, if I'm like this, and she's over there,
04:10: You don't know... If you saw a picture that was cut right here, and you saw only me, you wouldn't know that she was there.
04:15: If I was like this, you'd say, "Oh, someone's there. And that's pretty important someone, too." But also, I could be like this:
04:24: D: And you'd also know that there was something there. A scary something. That's very scary, and powerful.
N: Some thing there.
04:31: N: Grrr!
D: Grrr!
04:32: But, so it really is about this sense of the
04:36: Way in which you acknowledge the presence of your partner, by taking your energy towards and away from them.
04:40: See? Even if I'm facing away from her, there can be the sense of, "Oh, there's someone there."
04:45: Which is, really, what I want you to think. And then, she pulls me to her magnetically.
04:51: So, this chapter was about three things, primarily. Or, there are three things I want you to remember.
04:56: The first is that we create chemistry through distance, by being aware of the distance.
05:02: The second is that you shouldn't wimp out. Right? So you're not going to walk up to someone and then burst out laughing.
05:07: In to this sort of heap. Limp heap. Which is not, like, full of chemistry.
05:12: The final thing is that, as you do this, you want to take your time.
05:17: So that it goes, and it goes, and it goes, and it builds. And it builds, and it builds. Right? Instead of, "Oh, I'm there".
05:27: The last thought I want to make
05:30: Is that, if you get to a position, you can get to the exact same position, but it will feel radically different.
05:36: Depending on how you got there. So, for example, if I ask someone to dance.
05:42: I have to get in character.
05:51: They asked to - They accept and so I get very happy.
06:00: So, that's one place. Now, let's say, I ask another person to dance. Someone I'm very comfortable with, obviously.
06:18: Now, I ended in the exact same position. But it did not feel that way.

Series:: Connection
Tags:: Advanced, Beginner, Connection, Intermediate, Romance, Technique