Doing a gancho correctly doesn't have to feel tremendously physically invasive. If you're significant others or very (very) friendly, there's no problem. If you're not, you can make the right connection but make it a little faster and sharper. And you can focus more on the spirit of the dance and less on the interpersonal element of the movement. Doing the move correctly but in a somewhat more impersonal way makes a huge difference in how intimate it feels.